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How Do I Last Longer in Bed? Maximizing Your Sexual Stamina


last longer in bedWho doesn’t lasting longer in bed articlewant to last longer in bed? Most men have issues in at least one of the areas below. Focus on the one(s) you feel is most important to you (e.g.: relaxation, masturbation habits, etc.).
Read on to learn everything you need to know about increasing your sexual stamina. How do I last longer in bed? What can I do to make sex last as long as I want? What products or exercises will really increase my sexual stamina?

The Essentials

  • Sexual Stamina isn’t a Number – There is no magic number of minutes you should last in bed. Even research gives conflicting averages for sexual stamina. Instead, your focus should be on lasting as long as you and your partner want, whether that’s 3 minutes or 3 hours.
  • Stress Negatively Affects Stamina – Stress and anxiety are prominent factors in reduced sexual stamina. Relax! Be confident in your abilities!
  • Masturbation can be Good or Bad – If you want to last longer at sex, correct masturbation habits can help. Incorrect masturbation habits, however, can harm your ability to have sex for as long as you want.

Why Do I Want to Last Longer in Bed?

OK, you’re probably thinking the answer to that last longer in bed stamina benefitsquestion is pretty obvious. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that more time clocked between the sheets equals better sex. It doesn’t. The desire to increase your sexual stamina isn’t about racking up the hours — it’s about having the control to make sex last as long as you and your partner want it to last. Sometimes a five-minute quickie is just as desirable as a marathon sex session. The point is:
With sexual stamina, the choice is yours!
Once you have that control, your entire sex life can change. You can try new things, knowing if they don’t quite work for your partner, you can do something else, because you’re going to be totally in control. You’re also going to avoid the negative qualities associated with lack of control – embarrassment, shame, anxiety, etc.

What Role Does My Penis Play in Sex?

stamina cartoonYour erection doesn’t begin with your penis, it actually begins in your brain! Stimulation causes the brain to send chemical messages to the nerves in your penis, that allow the blood vessels to relax, so blood can fill the tissues of the penis, causing it to expand. This constricts the veins, so the blood cannot leave the penis, keeping it erect.
On average, men stay erect for 7.3 minutes.  That may not seem very long, but if you consider how long women say they prefer to have sex, you can see how this isn’t too far off what women want. In one study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers found the amount of time women preferred for actual intercourse ranged between 3 and 13 minutes. However, whether it’s ego or the natural drive to be better, most men want to last longer and be in complete control of their ejaculation.

How Do I Make Sex Last as Long as I Want?

There are several techniques you can use to increase your sexual stamina. Stamina issues can be related to psychological components (anxiety, guilt, etc.), physical components or a combination of both. Here are some of the most effective ways you can last longer in bed. Following are the best ways to increase your sexual stamina.
Breathing Exercises for More Control in Bed
Staying relaxed is one of the best last longer in bed breathing exercisesways to remain in control during sex. Breathing exercises can help you keep your arousal level under control. When you’re stressed, the urge to fight-or-flight takes over. This is your sympathetic nervous system taking control of your body and leads to ejaculation. Instead, through meditative, breathing exercises, you can keep your body in the sympathetic mode — the relaxed, controlled mode.  Breathing exercises will also help you last longer in bed by keeping your focus on breathing, distracting you from the physical, sexual stimuli your body is feeling.
Semi-deep breathing is more effective than deep breathing. Semi-deep breathing will allow you to be relaxed and in control. Deep breathing can become too relaxing, allowing you to lose your focus on the breathing, which can result in loss of control of your arousal level. If you can, take a class on meditation. It’ll not only help you in the sack, but in other areas of your life as well.
Try Triangle Breathing:
  • Breathe in slowly for 2 to 6 seconds.
  • Hold the breath for the same amount of time (2 to 6 seconds).
  • Exhale slowly for the same amount of time (2 to 6 seconds).
Serotonin Levels and Sexual Stamina
Serotonin is the calming hormone your body releases. Remaining calm and relaxed, as we’ve noted is key to maintaining control during sex. There are natural ways to increase your serotonin levels, as well as supplements that can be taken. These include:
  • Deep Breathing – Naturally increases your serotonin levels. That’s why you get that calm, relaxed feeling when doing those deep breathing exercises!
  • Positive Outlook – Keeping a positive outlook on life keeps your serotonin levels up. This is why anxiety is such a detriment to sexual stamina, because it lowers your serotonin levels.Have confidence in yourself and your abilities and think positively about your sexual experiences.
  • Carbs for a Serotonin Boost – Serotonin levels rise when we climinaxeat carbohydrates, which helps explain quite a few “comfort” foods. Stay away from high protein meals before sex, as this can block serotonin. Instead, try a candy bar to last longer in bed.
  • Serotonin Supplements – There are several supplements you can buy, over-the-counter, to boost your serotonin levels. Climinax offers a variety of benefits, including helping you increase your sexual stamina.
Confidence and Lasting Longer in Bed
last longer in bed self fulfilling prophecyOftentimes, problems with sexual stamina stem from, or are at least complicated by, lack of confidence. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You doubt your abilities between the sheets, and that raises your anxiety, which makes you ejaculate sooner than you wanted to (thanks to that fight-or-flight response), which then feeds into your self-doubt even more.
No matter what you feel is the catalyst for your sexual stamina challenges,
Be confident in yourself and your abilities!
Have faith that you can last longer in bed! Believe in your ability to satisfy your lover! Know you can overcome these stamina obstacles! The right mindset is half the battle. And, even when things don’t go as planned, don’t dwell on it. Know that sometimes you have to take a step backward to move two steps forward in life.
Mindset and Lasting Longer During Sex
Along with believing in yourself, your last longer in bed little engine that couldgeneral mindset can also affect how long you last in bed. Stop over-thinking the situation. Sex isn’t rocket science. Focus on sensuality of the situation, not the sexuality. Stop thinking and start perceiving. Although you’ll be receiving a lot of pleasure, pay attention to the sensation of giving that pleasure to help control your arousal level.
Remember the Little Engine that Could, who succeeded by starting off with, “I think I can. I think I can.” What you focus on becomes your reality. Keep positive. Keep confident.
Most importantly -
Enjoy yourself!
Don’t treat sex like an occasion. Instead, treat it like a fun, learning experience. Sex doesn’t have to be perfect to be enjoyable. Use each opportunity as a time to learn something new and do a little bit better.
Relax Your Pelvic Floor Muscles
last longer in bed pelvic floor muscleYour pelvic floor muscles are a key component to ejaculation control. With strong, healthy muscles, you will enjoy harder erections, an increased erection angle and can even become multi-orgasmic! This, plus the myriad of other health benefits, are why Kegels should be a part of every man’s penis exercise routine. Check out our Kegel Exercises for Men article for more details on Kegeling!
However, although strong pelvic floor muscles are needed for a great sex life, overactive pelvic floor muscles are one of the leading causes of stamina issues. Relax your pelvic floor muscles during sex, keeping your body in the parasympathetic mode and in control. Unintentional contractions can lead to unintentional ejaculation.
To Kegel to stop ejaculation, try the following:
  • 2 to 5 seconds BEFORE you reach the Point of No Return (PONR), contract your pelvic floor muscles (Kegel.)
  • Hold this contraction for between 10 and 15 seconds, until the urge to orgasm passes.
This is a very difficult technique to master. Plus, your body is unique, so adjust the time frames accordingly.
Practice Good Masturbation Habits
Masturbation can either help you increase your sexual stamina or be part of your stamina problem. Too many times guys masturbate with the goal of orgasming as quickly as possible. This can train your ejaculatory reflex to ejaculate too quickly, when it comes time for sex with your partner. If you want to last longer in bed, you need to practice good masturbation habits. Following are tips to ensure you’re practicing good masturbation habits that will help, not hinder, your performance in the bedroom.
  • 20 Minutes a Session – Masturbate with premature ejaculation & masturbationthe goal of taking at least 20 minutes a session. If you don’t have 20 or more minutes to spend, don’t even start. The goal is to not let yourself orgasm until you’ve spent at least 20 minutes masturbating. Take that time to focus on your body cues. Back off when you feel you might be reaching the PONR. Relax and control your arousal level.
  • Practice Edging or Stop & Starts – With Edging and Start & Stops, you use the PONR as a guide to controlling your arousal. Bringing yourself to the brink, and then easing back during masturbation, helps you learn to remain in control, when it comes time for the real deal.
  • Cold Erection Only – Always begin your masturbation session with no erection, and only become erect through manual stimulation only – no visual or thought stimulation.
  • Get a Performance Trainer – The Performance Trainer is the most lifelike feeling masturbator on the market today. It will help you get used to the feeling of a vagina, preparing you more thoroughly for real sex than simple masturbation alone.
  • Don’t Cum for the Sake of Cumming – It’s OK to masturbate and not orgasm. If you can, wait until the next day to ejaculate, and you’ll have a lot more energy.
Take Preventative Measures
last longer in bed something about maryIf it’s been days, or even weeks, since the last time you orgasmed, your body is going to be raring to go at the slightest sexual stimulation. There’s truth in the scene where Ben Stiller’s character is told to masturbate before going out on his date with Cameron Diaz, in Something About Mary. A preventative masturbation session before date night can help you keep control later in the evening, when you’re with your partner. However, remember, in addition to cleaning up after you’re done…
Always use good masturbation habits, as outlined above!
Remain Calm for Arousal Control
No matter what issue is negativelylast longer in bed 3cs of control affecting your sexual stamina, the key here is to teach your body (and your mind) to relax. Focus on that – remaining calm. Again, when we’re stressed, our body goes into fight-or-flight mode (sympathetic mode), which will lead to ejaculation. Keep calm and stay in the parasympathetic mode, so you can keep control of your arousal. Remember:
  • Use breathing exercises or meditation to keep calme
  • Relax your pelvic floor muscles.
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, keep your arousal level at or below a 7, to remain calm and in control.
REMEMBER: Stay calm. Be confident. Keep a clear mind.
Focus on Her
premature ejaculation womanAs we discussed earlier, there is no magic number when it comes to how long you should last. Instead, it more about how long you and your partner want you to last. By focusing on pleasuring your partner and making her orgasm first, it takes a lot of pressure off of yourself. You have other ways to please her, outside of straight intercourse. Make her orgasm with oral sex or manual stimulation (perhaps multiple times!), and she won’t mind you’re not marathon man between the sheets.
Here are a few tips:
  • Enhance her experience by telling her how much you enjoy being with her – how she feels – how she tastes – how she looks.
  • Pay attention to her entire body — remember, even places like the nape of the neck and the backs of the knees can be erotic hotspots for her.
  • Take your time. Don’t rush. Savor every moment. On average, it takes women 11 minutes to become fully aroused. If you’re rushing foreplay, you may just be making things that much more difficult for both you and her.
  • Watch and listen for her body cues. She may tell you, “Oh, God, that feels good.” or she may not, but her body will speak volumes, if you are paying attention.
  • Don’t assume the same thing that worked last time will necessarily work this time for her. It may or may not.
  • Don’t assume what she likes or doesn’t like. Communicate, and most importantly, listen.
Other Ways to Help You Last Longer
Following are more techniques to help you last longer in bed.
  • Counseling – If your stamina issues are due tobaseball stress or other anxiety-type issues, speaking to a mental health professional can help you sort things out. Additionally, try some of the physical cures below, as they can help you improve your confidence in the sack, while also improving blood flow to your penis, strengthening muscles, and improving the overall health of your best friend.
  • Distraction – The old cliche – “Think about baseball” – may work for some men, but others have a harder time fully pulling away from the sexual moment before orgasm. Instead of baseball or some other unrelated topic, distract yourself instead by thinking about what your other body parts are doing. Focus on feeling your arms supporting your weight. Are your knees bent or straight? You’re in the moment but not too in the moment.
  • Switch Positions – If you feel like you’re going to orgasm too quickly, change positions. The few seconds it may take to move around may be just the breather you need to regain control. You’ll also learn which positions are easier for you to increase your sexual stamina.
    sexual stamina note
  • Condoms – Condoms have two benefits for those who’d like to last longer in bed. First, they do slightly reduce the sensation to your penis, which may help your sexual stamina. Second, condoms protect against STDs and unplanned pregnancies, which are worries that can sometimes affect a man’s stamina.
  • Desensitizing Creams – There are climax control gels and creams available that are also designed to numb your penis slightly. Some condoms also come with cream on the inside. The primary challenge with desensitizing creams is it can affect your partner’s ability to orgasm.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – If you feel like there may be a psychological component to your stamina concerns, a therapist can be very beneficial in helping you deal with these issues. Whether it’s anxiety, guilt, or even relationship problems affecting your performance, they can help you resolve these issues.
  • Herbal Supplements – There are several herbs that have been proven effective in helping you last longer in bed. These include: Peruvian ginseng, kava, 5-flavor berry, withania somnifera, linden flower, and the Himalayan goji berry. Most of these work by improving your libido while also reducing your anxiety, a known cause of loss of control.

sexual stamina herbs

The Verdict

Lasting longer at sex is a common desire for many men. You’re not alone. More importantly, there are things you can do to improve your sexual stamina! Whatever technique that addresses your issue best, remember — stay calm and relaxed. Have confidence in your abilities. Keep clear minded. These will keep your body in the parasympathetic mode and your arousal under control, until you’re ready to orgasm.

send your cock to the gym, Penis Exercises, a reader requested post

Top 6 Penis Enlargement Exercises

Do you want a larger penis? Guess what — you’re not alone! Although we’ve all heard the saying, “Size doesn’t matter,” if you’re insecure about your penis size, it can negatively affect multiple aspects of your life. If you’re worried about the size of your penis, it can make you not only insecure in the bedroom, but in your professional life, as well as other personal relationship. It’s not a surprise millions of men turn to penis exercise, to enlarge their favorite body part. Following are the top six methods members have used to enlarge their penis, through penis exercise.
penis exercise for penis enlargement
Millions of men turn to penis exercise to enlarge their penis.

Top 6 Penis Enlargement Exercises

  1. Jelqing – Using an OK-grip, this penis exercise is both simple and effective. With your penis partially erect, slowly stroke up the penis shaft toward the glans. This not only brings nutrient rich blood into the penis, but also uses the same principles as muscle building to create increase length and girth. Check out our Jelqing Exercises page, with more links to this type of penis exercise and all its variations.
  2. Stretching – Stretching exercises are another penis exercise great for beginners, with variations that are perfect for more advanced penis exercisers. Chances are you’ve seen pictures of  Kayan women, in Thailand, who from an early begin the process to stretch their necks. This same principle applies to penis stretching. You can learn about all of the different penis stretching exercises on our Stretching Exercises page.
  3. Penis Pumps – Penis pumps are a mechanical form of penis exercise. Penis pumps come in a variety of designs, with different features; however, the basic principles of penis pumps are the same. A cylinder goes over the penis and a pump, either manual or electric, creates a partial vacuum within the cylinder. This decreased pressure causes the tissues in the penis to expand and fill with blood. Some of the most popular penis pumps include:  the Bathmate and the Penomet (both water-assisted pumps); the Phallosan; and the Passion Pump.
  4. Penis Extenders – Another popular and effective form of penis enlargement exercise is through the use of a penis extender. Penis extenders work on the stretching principle, with the aid of a mechanical device to hold the stretch for an extended period of time. Some of the most popular penis extenders include: the Penis Pal; the X4 Labs Extender; the JES Extender; and the Male Edge Extender.
  5. Penis Hangers – Penis hangers are another stretching penis exercise. As the name implies, you attach the device and hang a weight, causing tension on the penis. One of the most innovative hangers on the market is the LG Hanger. Testing has proven the LG hanger excels in comfort and gives you greater results than any other penis enlargement hanger on the market today!
  6. Kegels – Although Kegels may not be penis exercises specifically geared for penis enlargement, they will give you harder, stronger and longer lasting erections! There are penis enlargement benefits indirectly from Kegeling, thanks to the improved blood flow to the penis. Check out our article Kegel Exercises for Men, for more information.

How to Exercise with Penomet Gaiters

The Penomet system is the routine that accompanies the Penomet pump, which helps you to best utilise this revolutionary product. With either the advanced or quick routines, you will find enlarging your penis can be quick and effortless. The routines are based on which of the different gaiters you use, how and for how long – take our advice and you should gain faster with the Penomet than any other pump in the world.
By varying the gaiters that you use, you vary the differential pressure inside the cylinder vs outside it, and avoid getting stuck on a single setting as you would with a traditional penis pump. You can find a routine and pressure you are comfortable with thanks to this option – just alternate the gaiters you use and the routine you practice. Suggested routines include “the Gaiter week” and “Alternating” – more details can be found below.

The Gaiter week

The Gaiter week is a simple routine that is easy to remember for beginners. In each week, you should use a set gaiter for around 15-30 minutes per day, and for five days in each week. It’s recommended that you start with the lowest Force (the Purple Force 60 gaiter) and then gradually escalate – in this example the first four weeks rotate the Purple 60 and Blue 65 gaiters twice.
  • Week 1: Five Days from Seven using Purple 60
  • Week 2: Five Days from Seven using Blue 65
  • Week 3: Five Days from Seven using Purple 60
  • Week 4: Five Days from Seven using Blue 65
  • Week 5: Five Days from Seven using Black 70
  • Week 6: Five Days from Seven using Black 70
  • Week 6: Five Days from Seven using Grey 75
  • Week 6: Five Days from Seven using Black 70
  • Week 6: Five Days from Seven using Grey 75
From Week 7 onwards you can maintain a five from seven days pattern alternating between the highest Force gaiters Grey 75 and Red 80.
Notes: While the goal of this particular workout is to maximize potential growth (up to 80% more effective than traditional water or air pumping), should you feel any discomfort, you should immediately reduce the duration of your exercises using the Penomet and/or change to a lower gaiter setting. Even the early stages alternating between Purple 60 / Blue 65 can be an intense workout, so if you feel uncomfortable at the higher levels, stick with Purple and Blue until you feel ready to change.

Alternating – Mixing Up Gaiters

Mixing up the gaiters you choose to use, either within the same day or within a short period of your exercise routine, you maximise the potential for your penis to get bigger by increasing the blood flow that is coming into your penis. Here is an example of a routine that mixes up the gaiters over a ten week period. In the first four weeks, gaiters are rotated as in the Gaiter week:
  • Week 1: Five Days from Seven using Purple 60
  • Week 2: Five Days from Seven using Blue 65
  • Week 3: Five Days from Seven using Purple 60
  • Week 4: Five Days from Seven using Blue 65
After the fourth week, gaiters are rotated during each session rather than on a weekly basis – by using two gaiters in each session, or by having multiple shorter sessions per day. In the routine detailed below, there are two gaiters – the primary and the secondary. The primary gaiter should be used first for a full session, while the secondary gaiter (the higher the better of the secondary options, but use what you are comfortable with) should be used for around five minutes afterwards.
  • Week 5: Primary gaiter: Blue 65.  Secondary Black 70 and Gray 75.
  • Week 6: Primary gaiter: Purple 60. Secondary Blue 65 and Black 70.
  • Week 7: Primary gaiter: Black 70. Secondary Gray 75.
  • Week 8: Primary gaiter: Purple 60. Secondary Blue 65 and Black 70.
  • Week 9: Primary gaiter: Blue 65. Secondary Gray 75.
  • Week 10: Primary gaiter: Gray 75.  Secondary Red 80.
From week 11 onwards the routine opens up and you can use any gaiter you feel comfortable with at your own discretion. You may continue to use secondary gaiters during this time to maximise the blood flow and the pull generated – depending on which gaiter you max out with, you may want to top off each session with the maximum (Red 80) fully compressed.

Penomet Standard Gains Routine Using 70 Force Standard Gaiter

Length Portion
In order to warm up to using the Penomet, it can help to stretch prior to use. This has multiple effects, such as preparing the penile tissue for the routine and allowing for optimum stretching while your penis is in the tube. If you can add this stretching into your routine (for as little as 5 minutes) it can have a significant effect on gains.
To complete basic stretching, sit down and grip your flaccid (soft) penis just below the head. Baby powder may well assist you in making a good grip if required. Pull gently, and slowly escalate over time (as with the changes of gaiters) so that you can get used to the process and prevent discomfort.
There are a variety of methods in which you can stretch, and greater variety has greater effects. The stretches detailed below each represent an angle which will help penis length gains to be made when used in combination. Most are self explanatory, but to give a full explanation, a ‘Rotary Crank’ simply implies stretching the penis while making a circular motion with your hand. ‘Behind the Cheeks’ involves grabbing the penis from behind and stretching in that direction – this is the most extreme stretch position. A maximum of 10-15 minutes should be taken with this stretching routine to be beneficial in increasing your Penomet gains.
One Sets of each stretch below
  • Straight Down to the Left: 30-seconds
  • Straight Down to the Center: 30-seconds
  • Straight Down to the Right: 30-seconds
  • Straight Down Rotary Stretches: 25-Cranks
  • Straight Out to the Left: 30-seconds
  • Straight Out to the Center: 30-seconds
  • Straight Out to the Right: 30-seconds
  • Straight Out Rotary Stretches: 25-Cranks
  • Straight Up to the Left: 30-seconds
  • Straight Up to the Center: 30-seconds
  • Straight Up to the Right: 30-seconds
  • Straight Up Rotary Stretches: 25-Cranks
  • Behind The Cheeks to the Left: 30-seconds
  • Behind The Cheeks to the Center: 30-seconds
  • Behind The Cheeks to the Right: 30-seconds
A good way to end the stretching routines is with the Penomet Hardcore Stretches (detailed below). Combining these stretches on the flaccid penis with the Penomet allows the inner penis to reach it’s new erect length. The inches of length that are not visible (concealed inside the body) are waiting to get out, and this routine, alongside the suction power of the Penomet, allows you reveal this internal length and add inches to what is visible.
Penomet Hardcore Stretches
Penomet Hardcore Stretches should be completed with a full erection, and can be completed either in a wet or dry setting.
For this stretch, pump the Penomet to the highest pressure, so that if you pull on the tube it remains attached to the penis. This movement forms the stretching – by pulling the tube a powerful stretch is achieved, and can be maintained while you carry out the exercise. Should suction decrease, you can re-pump to ensure stretching is effective.
Upward Penomet Expressive Stretches
With the Penomet at a high pressure, using both hands lift the chamber upwards. Although you will not be able to lift it straight upwards due to the shape of the tube, you should aim to go as high as possible. Start by attempting 3 stretches of 30 seconds each in duration.
Outward Penomet Expressive Stretches
Similarly, with the appropriate suction, stretch the Penomet away from your body and try to maintain each stretch for 30 seconds.
Downward Penomet Expressive Stretches 
This is one of the trickier stretches due to the penis’ angle during an erection. For this you will have to stretch as well as push or pull downwards (against the angle of an erection). This is more likely to cause discomfort than the other stretches, so be careful as you try to complete the same set of three 30 second stretches.

Performing the Super-Set Exercise

Girth Portion
Penomet Super-Sets are considered the perfect method of gaining size, maximising tissue expansion and eliminating water retention. Super-sets are so called because they involve combining two separate exercises and thus maximising the effort used. The exercises are performed consecutively without breaks. The technique ‘Jelqing’ is combined with the Penomet in order to speed up the process of gaining girth and length.
Jelqing: How it’s done
    • Put a lubricant of your choice on your hands as well as your penis. For this exercise your penis should be semi-erect.
    • Using your thumb and forefinger on one hand, make an ‘OK’ sign and use it to grip your penis at the base. It’s best to take a firm grip without causing pain.
    • Maintaining this grip, make a milking motion towards the end of your penis.
    • To continue the routine use your other hand to start another motion when your first hand reaches the head of your penis. As a result the stretching of your penis should be continuous. It’s important not to milk the head of the penis.
    • Continue with this continuous milking action as you alternate between hands.
Once you are completely erect you can attach your Penomet and pump to maximum pressure. Maintain this high pressure for 5 minutes before proceeding with a 5 minute jelqing session. Once you’ve completed both the Penomet and Jelquing aspects of the exercise then one set is complete. Carry on for three sets so that your complete routine looks like the below:
5 Minutes in Penomet
5 Minutes Jelqing
5 Minutes in Penomet
5 Minutes Jelqing
5 Minutes in Penomet
5 Minutes Jelqing
With this routine – it’s not unusual to see extensive temporary gains of 3 inches or more which can quickly become permanent should you maintain the routine.
Signature Routine System Created by

Mike Salvini (DLD)Founder of Matters of Size